“A person who betrays once will do it again.” Ziyoda Ro‘ziqulova, who returned to cinema after a 17-year break, on divorcing the father of her 4 children

“A person who betrays once will do it again.” Ziyoda Ro‘ziqulova, who returned to cinema after a 17-year hiatus, on divorcing the father of her 4 children

Actress Ziyoda Ro‘ziqulova, well known to viewers for her role in the film “Jonim seni yoxud egizaklar” (My Soul, You or the Twins), was a guest on the “O‘zimizning gap” (Our Own Talk) program on the “Mening yurtim” TV channel, where she spoke about the trials in her life, the years she spent away from creative work, and her divorce from her husband.

“I was outside of art for 17 years”

— When I first entered the world of art, I was 12 years old. But later, after I got married, I was away from creative work for exactly 17 years. During the times when I had a family, had children one after another, and sat at home, I used to watch television. All my classmates who studied with me were active in creative work and receiving titles. To be honest, looking at them, various thoughts crossed my mind. It wasn't envy or jealousy, it was simply the feeling of: “I studied with them too, I graduated with top grades, didn't I?” Thoughts like “I had talent too, maybe I could have been alongside them or in their place right now” certainly crossed my mind.

“Since childhood, I have been a family-oriented girl”

— Since childhood, I have been family-oriented. I used to wish that when I had a family, I would have many children. On one hand, when I looked at my family and my children, there were many years when I comforted myself by saying, “Thank God, everything is fine. You didn't make a big loss; on the contrary, there have been very important findings in your life.”

“If I didn't have the experience, my roles wouldn't have turned out this way”

— They say one shouldn't regret. What is done is done, we accept what is in our destiny and comfort ourselves. Sometimes I wonder what I would have done if my life had turned out differently. Of course, I would have continued my career. But what about now? Even though so many years have passed, the thought that today I am continuing my activity from where it stopped comforts me. Therefore, I have no regrets. If I hadn't gone through that period and those trials, perhaps my current roles and my return to cinema wouldn't have caused such a sensation. I think if I had played today's roles 20 years ago, perhaps I wouldn't have been able to play them as I do now. Because only when you go through life events yourself can you feel them well.

“My eldest daughter studies at Moscow State University”

The actress is a mother of four — three daughters and one son. Ziyoda Ro‘ziqulova, whose eldest child is 20 and the youngest is 5 years old, is not an indifferent mother when it comes to her children's education.

— My eldest daughter studies in the medical field at Moscow State University. Among relatives, the issue of sending a girl to study abroad alone caused a lot of debate. There were talks like, “There is no need for a girl to study abroad, she can just study in Tashkent.” After that, I went to Moscow together with my child. I lived there with my daughter for a year. I tried to be a support for her in a foreign and big city. After she met her friends and teachers, found a common language, and got used to the environment, my daughter herself said, “Mother, that's enough now, go back to my younger siblings. Don't worry about me, I have become quite independent. You can freely go,” and after that I returned, says the actress.

“Sometimes we smile not out of happiness, but to hide our grief”

— Sometimes our smiles are not a sign of happiness, but a way to hide certain pains. In time, I forgave both betrayal and lies. But because I forgave, I suffered. Actually, one shouldn't forgive this. Because a person who betrays once can betray again.

“My daughter said I didn't have to live with my husband for their sake”

— Fortunately, my children did not fall into depression because of this situation. They had also grown up; seeing their parents' relationship, they understood. In the last years of our marriage, I started living and enduring only for the sake of the children. At those times, even my eldest daughter, who was about 15-16 years old, sat next to me and said, “Mother, why are you living with my father? There is no love between you.” My eldest daughter loves to read books. She said she didn't see the love from books in the relationship between my father and me. Then I told her, “I am living for you guys.” After this answer, my daughter said, “Mother, don't force yourself to live for us. We have grown up. I am also trying to study abroad. I don't mean to say I don't need a father. But seeing your relationship, I am starting to hate my father. I am the eldest child; if it continues like this, we might end up hating our father. We love him, so it's better if you just divorce.”

“I was the first to tell my husband about the decision to divorce”

— I was the first to tell my husband about the decision to divorce. I explained this peacefully, without fights and arguments. Because if the words “I will divorce, I will leave,” said in anger and shouting, are repeated several times, respect is lost in the family. Leaving and coming back also lowers one's value. Therefore, I took a different approach in stating my decision.

As if nothing had happened, I calmly waited for him to return from work. I prepared lunch and set the table. When the two of us sat opposite each other, I even waited for him to finish eating. Because after such words, a person's appetite could be ruined. After he finished lunch, I looked into his eyes and told him that I wanted to divorce. At first, he smiled slightly and didn't believe it. After that, indicating the seriousness of my words, I said, “I don't even want to brew tea or prepare food for you anymore. I don't want to wash your clothes either. I simply don't love you anymore.” After these words, he stopped eating and looked at my face. He is a very good psychologist. Looking into my eyes, he understood that I had no feelings left, and without any extra words, he said “okay.” That conversation was our last talk, says the actress.