"Governor Bova: 'Keep the microphone further away from me!' (Satire)"

"Mayor Bova: 'Keep the microphone further away from me!' (Satire)"

Mayor Bova's affairs were going very well. He only had one problem — and that was the journalist. If there was a pothole in the road, the journalist saw it. If there was trash on the street, the journalist saw it. If people had a problem, the journalist heard it. Wherever there was a problem, only and exclusively the journalist saw it.

As for Mayor Bova, he only saw all of this in the "Meeting Minutes."

One day, Mayor Bova summoned the journalist to his office:

Mayor Bova:

– Why do you criticize me?

Journalist:

– You have shortcomings.

Mayor Bova:

– Everyone has shortcomings.

Journalist:

– True, but not everyone is a mayor.

Mayor Bova:

– Don't just write about everything. For example, that there is a pothole in the road.

Journalist:

– What should I write instead?

Mayor Bova:

– Say, "A new format of natural relief is forming in the road infrastructure."

Journalist:

– Then where will people drive their cars?

Mayor Bova:

– We will control that ourselves.

Journalist:

– When?

Mayor Bova:

– When the potholes are filled.

Journalist:

– Who will fill the potholes?

Mayor Bova:

– Don't ask too many questions!

The journalist smiled:

– It's just that questions are multiplying where you aren't working!

Mayor Bova fell silent for a moment and said:

– Write about my good sides!

Journalist:

– I will, sure!

Mayor Bova:

– When?

Journalist:

– When your shortcomings decrease!

Mayor Bova:

– When will they decrease?

Journalist:

– When you stop running away from criticism and start fixing the problems.

Mayor Bova:

– We will cooperate with you, the journalists!

Journalist:

– What kind of cooperation?

Mayor Bova:

– We won't speak, and you won't ask questions.

Journalist:

– That is not cooperation!

Mayor Bova:

– What is it then?

Journalist:

– Mutual silence.

Mayor Bova lost his temper:

– Journalists magnify and exaggerate everything!

Journalist:

– Because mayors have already become experts at downplaying many problems.

Mayor Bova:

– What do you actually want?

Journalist:

– A simple thing.

Mayor Bova:

– What is it?

Journalist:

– An answer when we ask a question. A correction when we point out a mistake. A solution when we state a problem.

Mayor Bova:

– What else?

Journalist:

– Nothing else.

Mayor Bova:

– What about praise?!

Journalist:

– If you work, the people themselves will praise you.

Mayor Bova:

– Then there is no need for journalists at all...

At that moment, the secretary entered:

– Mayor Bova, the journalist's cameraman is also here...

Mayor Bova held his head:

– What, what is his goal? What does he want to say?

Secretary:

– He says, "I won't say anything"...

The mayor rejoiced:

– See, cameramen are good...

Secretary:

– No, he also brought a microphone for the broadcast.

Mayor Bova stared blankly.

Journalist:

– Don't be afraid, Mayor Bova, a microphone doesn't eat people.

Mayor Bova:

– Get rid of them, both him and his cameraman!

At that moment, the cameraman holding a microphone entered the mayor's office. Terrified, Mayor Bova crawled under the desk.

Journalist:

– Mayor Bova, don't be afraid, we only see the truth.

Mayor Bova:

– Turn off the truth.

Cameraman:

– They haven't made an off-switch for that yet.

At that moment, the secretary rushed in again in a panic:

– The video has leaked onto the internet!

Mayor Bova:

– Which video leaked onto the internet?

Secretary:

– The one of you running away from the microphone and crawling under the desk.

Mayor Bova:

– Number of views?

Secretary:

– Close to a million...

Mayor Bova rejoiced:

– So, that many people love me?!

Journalist:

– No, Mayor Bova, a million people saw your "social activity" under the desk...

Mayor Bova:

– Delete it, have it deleted immediatelyyyy...

Journalist:

– Mayor Bova, one question...

Mayor Bova:

– Get lost with your questions and stuff...

Journalist:

– But I haven't even asked the question yet?!

Mayor Bova:

– Don't ask!

And he yelled angrily:

– You cause all the problems!

Journalist:

– We don't cause problems, we bring existing problems to light!

Mayor Bova:

– I am not afraid of you!

Immediately, the microphone approached him. Mayor Bova took two steps back and said:

– Keep the microphone further away from me!

Journalist:

– The headline for the broadcast is ready! You gave it to us yourself.

Mayor Bova:

– What is it?

Journalist:

– "Mayor Bova: 'Keep the microphone further away from me!'"

Mayor Bova:

– Oh, there is no escaping journalists...

Journalist:

– Don't run, Mayor Bova, don't run! If you run from a journalist, the camera will follow you.

Mayor Bova:

– Then where should I go?!

Journalist:

– To work, Mayor Bova, to work. There, both the microphone and the people will be pleased with you...