Does a frightened child become well-behaved? On how bullying is formed
Does scaring a child with someone make them well-behaved? Or, on the contrary, does fear teach them to accept violence or use force? The psychologist emphasizes that relying on fear in raising a child within the family can cause them to become either a victim of bullying or a bully themselves.
Does a frightened child become well-behaved? How bullying is formed
In our mentality, the view that a child should be afraid of someone is still common. Parenting methods such as "be afraid of the teacher," "be afraid of your father," and "never talk back to adults" are familiar to many. However, according to child psychologist Rozaliya Gabdulhakova, fear is not an effective tool of upbringing. A child begins to behave not because they realize the mistake itself is wrong, but to avoid punishment.
"Frightening a child does not make them well-behaved. Fear does not give the child the understanding that 'this action is wrong,' but rather the thought that 'if I do this, I will be punished.' That is, the child begins to behave not out of internal responsibility, but out of fear of punishment. The main meaning of upbringing is to achieve that they do it of their own free will out of respect, not out of fear – that is what upbringing is called,"
says the specialist.
The consequence of fear-based upbringing does not end only with the child becoming submissive. According to the specialist, a child raised in such an environment can develop two types of behavioral models.
"Frightening with aggression means that the child is being controlled by creating danger. An adult is screaming, humiliating, beating, and controlling the child. Fear-based upbringing can form two types of behavioral models in a child. One is a child who is afraid, obeys everything, and cannot express their own opinion, and the other is a child who copies the behavior of this aggressor. That is, when they are dissatisfied, they develop into a child who achieves what they want by forcing and frightening. Depending on the child's temperament, one of these behaviors may form."
Recently, the incident at school No. 151 involving a child swallowing a metal bracelet also caused public discussion. In general, school is considered one of the places where bullying is discussed the most.
– systematically, intentionally humiliating, intimidating, insulting, or exerting physical and psychological pressure on a person. Bullying can occur in school, the workplace, or the internet environment.
– is the person who carries out the bullying, that is, systematically exerts pressure, threats, or humiliation against others.