Don't panic - five ways to stop your kids' endless scrolling

Don't panic - five strategies to curb your kids' endless scrolling

As a parent, you might have felt a mix of relief or frustration regarding the UK government's proposal to introduce a social media curfew for 16 and 17-year-olds. This initiative would make platforms like Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube inaccessible by default for teenagers, although they would have the option to opt out of the curfew if they choose. The government plans to disable features deemed addictive, such as auto-play videos and infinite scrolling, with the goal of enhancing teenagers' focus, sleep quality, and family interactions.

We consulted several parenting experts for their advice on how to encourage kids to put down their phones, even if just temporarily. Many parents who have already provided their children with tablets or smartphones might consider removing them entirely. However, child psychologist Dr. Jane Gilmour believes that this may not be the most effective solution. "Changing a habit is always going to be hard," she notes. Instead, she suggests making changes during calm moments rather than during heated discussions about screen time. "Calm brains communicate best."

A practical first step in reducing screen time could involve designating a specific area in the home for devices, such as a designated cupboard. "Have one place for chargers... so when the phones go away, they go on the charger and that's it."

Older children and teenagers may respond better when included in discussions about screen time rather than having rules imposed upon them, according to child psychologist Dr. Maryhan Baker. Recognizing the peer pressure associated with social media can help engage teens, she suggests saying, "I understand that that's where you connect with your friends. I understand the social pressure if you're deemed not to be on this. I really get it. So let's have a conversation about how we can begin to create space within our day, and your day where you're not on that phone all of the time."

Parenting coach Olivia Edwards emphasizes that fostering a strong relationship with your child or teenager can facilitate better regulation of screen use. "We have to have a strong relationship with our child because that is what's going to get us towards cooperation [and] teamwork." This might involve taking a genuine interest in the online content your child engages with.

Many parents feel overwhelmed by the fast-paced changes in social media trends. However, there is an opportunity for both adults and children to learn from each other through open discussions about screen time. Olivia suggests asking questions like, "How do you think social media works? How do you think that app works to keep people looking at it? Did you know they make money off the more time people spend on it?"

Jane also advocates for teaching children digital literacy in a practical manner. "There might be content that you can look at together and say, 'OK, do you think that that is true? How would I figure out if that's true or not?'"

It's well-known that children often imitate their parents, so promoting healthy screen habits may require some self-reflection from adults. Maryhan encourages a light-hearted approach, suggesting parents engage in self-deprecating conversations with their kids, such as, "We're all guilty of this; I'm not as great on my relationship with [my phone] as I could be."

While phones and tablets offer constant entertainment for all ages, Jane believes that both adults and children could benefit from embracing moments of boredom. "Being on the screen keeps us focused on the external world. When we turn inward and gaze into space, it allows us to reflect on the past, envision the future, and fosters creativity. So when your kids complain that there's nothing to do, and they're just staring into space—that's OK. In fact, that's a positive thing."

Parenting has always been challenging, but raising children in an era dominated by screens, while we continue to learn about their effects, can be particularly daunting. Dr. Tony Sampson, a reader in digital communication at the University of Essex, advises parents not to succumb to moral panic. "There is a tendency for anxious parents to become caught up in a prevailing media panic and see all adolescent brains as simply hardwired for social media addiction," he explains.

However, children and teenagers possess neuroplasticity, meaning their brains are more adaptable and resilient than those of adults. "We read a lot about how social media erodes attention," he adds. "[But] social media does not shorten or erode attention. It captures it and diverts it toward engagement with commercial content. Positive technological use can help enhance neuroplasticity for creativity, exploration, and learning."

Are you a parent worried about screen time? Have you taken measures to address this issue with your children?

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