“What I said about not giving my daughter to an Uzbek was misunderstood” — Kamola Arslonova on moving to Uzbekistan and her Turkish husband getting stressed

“What I said about not giving my daughter to an Uzbek was misunderstood” — Kamola Arslonova on moving to Uzbekistan and her Turkish husband’s stress

Actress Kamola Arslonova, well-known to viewers for her roles in the films “Kelgindi qaynona” (Foreign Mother-in-Law), “Kirakash” (The Gypsy Cab Driver), and the TV series “Opa-singillar” (Sisters), gave an interview to the YouTube channel of “Darakchi”. During the conversation, the actress spoke about how she met her Turkish husband, how she missed her homeland while living abroad for 11 years, and how she moved permanently to Uzbekistan with her family.

“The first time I saw my husband, the thought crossed my mind that this man would be my husband”

— Previously, my late mother used to visit Istanbul. That was the reason for my first trip abroad as well. To surprise my mother, I bought a tour and went to Turkey. That was when I fell deeply in love with this country. In fact, anyone who visits Turkey once wants to come back again.

After a little while, I went to Istanbul again. This time, aiming to see other regions, I traveled toward Izmir, where my husband and I met by chance. I don't know if I mentioned it in my previous interviews or not, but the first time I saw him, the thought “this man will be my husband” crossed my mind. This had never happened before; even I was surprised.

At first, neither of us intended to start a family. He simply showed me around the city and introduced me to his relatives. There was no talk of liking each other or getting married; he was simply doing a good deed. After I returned to Tashkent, he proposed to me. Only after the wedding did I realize that my husband is a person who strives to help everyone as much as he can.

“I felt that this man would make a good father”

— Artists have a strong ability to observe people and their environment. I think this is a kind of professional trait. My master Mahmud Rashidov also constantly taught us attentiveness while we were studying at the “Theater” Institute. Therefore, I used to pay attention to every situation. Once, seeing my husband get up and go to work despite having a 40-degree fever, I thought to myself: “What a responsible person; even though he is sick, he goes to work. He will make a very good father.” It was precisely this quality of his that made me choose him.

Besides, I was 28 years old at the time. It was a time when people around me constantly asked the question, “When are you getting married?” True, before that there were those who intended to marry me. But I thought they liked me simply because I was an actress and famous. For this reason, when I met my future husband, I hid that I was an actress and lied, saying I was a teacher.

“My mother said that all Turks are liars”

— Having arrived in Tashkent, I told my mother everything. Since my mother had worked in Turkey for a while and returned, she said, “My child, do not trust Turks, they are all liars.” For some reason, many people think Turks are deceivers. But they are sweet-spoken, that cannot be denied. At first, my mother did not take my words seriously and said nothing, but I still felt uneasy.

Later, my husband and I kept texting on the phone. At that time, coming from Turkey to Uzbekistan was quite difficult; waiting for a visa took three months. After I mentioned this, he got his passport ready. He said he wanted to come to Uzbekistan, meet my relatives, and ask for my hand. But upon hearing about the three-month period, he said, “I cannot wait that long, it is better to finish a good deed faster. If I cannot come, take your mother and come yourself.” After he bought the travel tickets, my mother and I headed to Turkey.

After we arrived, he introduced us to his family, his mother, and they spoke with my mother. That night, my mother told me, “No, my daughter.” Back then, I really wanted to cry because of my mother’s words. Actually, I hadn't fallen madly in love, but my heart felt a sudden spark. When I said, “Fine, whatever you say,” my mother noticed I was crying. After waking up in the morning, she said she had had a good dream and gave her consent.

“I couldn’t get used to living in Turkey”

— It turns out there was truth in my mother’s words that “the distance is far, you will struggle.” I understood this after living abroad for 11 years. Every time I came to Uzbekistan, I returned back with difficulty, missing my homeland. Many people write to me on social media, calling me a “traitor, you sold your country and left.” But even in my previous interviews, I always talked about longing for the homeland. That is why, finally, my 11-year prayers were answered, and we returned to Uzbekistan as a family.

“Intention is what matters most”

— For 11 years, I asked the Creator for us to move. It turns out that having your intention come true is pleasant in a different way, because for me this was like an unattainable dream. Since my husband's work, friends, and all acquaintances were there, it was not easy to leave everything behind.

Once or twice when I spoke about moving, he said, “All my relatives, my work, and my reputation are in Turkey.” Indeed, he had his own business there, and many people knew him. Just as I was famous in Uzbekistan, he was famous in his homeland. Therefore, he would not agree to move, saying, “My children should also benefit from this reputation and my surname.”

Despite the resistance, I kept praying for our return to my homeland anyway. But after reaching your desire, you understand that everything has its own responsibility, and you even get a little scared, thinking, “Did I do the right thing?”

“My husband turned into a three-year-old child here”

— Even if he doesn't say it openly himself, moving to Uzbekistan really scared my husband a little. The new environment was naturally stressful in its own way. Since he doesn't know our language, he says he feels like a three-year-old child. Once when he went to a store, the shopkeeper didn't understand him and sent him away, saying, “Come tomorrow.” After that, I started writing down what he needed on his hand. In the first days of our arrival, he couldn't sleep at night, but now he has gotten used to it a little.

Among our children, it was a bit difficult for my daughter to adapt here at first. For my son, it doesn't matter; for him, just having us by his side is enough. So that the children would get used to Uzbekistan faster and fall in love with this place, I took them to the zoo and parks every day. Thank God, they also adapted quickly.

“I got stressed because I was left without work”

The actress's husband explains what he experienced in the new location as follows:

— I have always been accustomed to doing my work independently by myself. Whatever I planned, whether in the morning or evening, it didn't matter, I had to carry it out on that very day. After coming to Uzbekistan, I was restricted from this opportunity. I cannot move freely; because I don't know the language, I cannot finish any work independently. For this reason, I got under severe stress, says the actress's Turkish husband.

“What I said about not giving my daughter to an Uzbek guy was misunderstood”

— Once, out of missing my homeland and being bored in Turkey, I became active on social media and started blogging. Back then, many people misunderstood what I once wrote: “I will never give my daughter to an Uzbek.” At that time, I did not know that we would later move to Uzbekistan permanently. After this post spread, many understood it as “she looks down on our men.” However, I had written it in a completely different sense.

On the contrary, because I struggled in a foreign land myself, I said it with the goal that in the future my daughter would not marry abroad and live longing for her homeland like me. Because living far from family is truly difficult. I know this well because I have experienced it. Over there, I always lived with the thought, “I wonder what my mother is doing, is her health good?”

Furthermore, my older sister is in Kazakhstan, another older sister is in another country, and my younger brother is in Moscow. Since all of us are abroad, we know what living in a foreign land is. That is why I didn't want my daughter to suffer from longing for her homeland either.

“I miss creative work”

— Since childhood, I have loved my profession, the stage, and now I really miss creative work. If there are offers for roles suitable for me in good films, I would gladly accept.

I am also thinking about returning to creativity through Instagram. But for now, I don't know where or how to start. I don't even know who to ask about this. The colleagues I know are in the theater; they don't run blogs. And I am not acquainted with today's bloggers, says the actress.