My son has disappeared off the face of the earth fighting for Russia

My son has vanished off the face of the earth fighting for Russia

Valerie Stobbart, from Newcastle, says her son Nathan was given no option but to join the Russian army to avoid being deported from the country

British man Nathan Stobbart has been listed as missing in action while fighting for Russia in Ukraine. He hid his military service from his family in the UK, who are now desperately searching for him.

In December 2025, Nathan’s mother, Valerie Stobbart, received a text message that sent her life into chaos.

It came from her distraught daughter-in-law, Ksenia, who lives in Russia with Valerie’s 30-year-old son and the couple’s newborn baby. Nathan had been fighting for the country against Ukraine and had disappeared.

"I can't even describe it," Valerie says.

"I had to drive home from my daughter's house. I don't even know how I managed to drive home, quite honestly.

"I remember walking in and telling Sean [Valerie's partner], and we were just both in total shock."

Her son had told her he was working as an electrical contractor and she had no idea he had joined the Russian army in April last year.

"You think that somebody is living this lovely little life with a new family and then suddenly you find out that they've gone, they're missing," she says.

"They've completely disappeared off the face of the earth."

Nathan Stobbart was declared missing in action by his military unit in December

Nathan’s voice was last heard on his military radio a week before Ksenia’s message.

A Russian army document, seen by the BBC, shows he was officially declared missing in action by his unit on 12 December but no body has been found.

Valerie says Ksenia revealed that the Russian authorities had told Nathan he would not be allowed a visa to stay in the country and would face deportation if he did not sign up for a year of military service.

Russian media has previously reported that foreign men in the country have been forced to join the invasion in Ukraine in exchange for citizenship.

Valerie does not agree with her son’s choice to fight, but she accepts he was faced with a hard decision - he could either go back to Newcastle in north-east England without his wife and newborn son, or join the Russian army.

"He was so desperate to stay with his family he would do anything," she says.

It is illegal for Britons to fight for foreign nations involved in conflicts with countries with which the UK is at peace, unless they hold dual nationality, according to the Foreign Enlistment Act 1870.

But Nathan is not the only British national without dual nationality to fight for Russian president Vladimir Putin against Ukraine.

Ben Stimson and Aiden Minnis are believed to have been the first and were granted Russian citizenship for fighting in the occupied Donbas region.

Bradley Townsend was killed in Ukraine in June and is believed to be the first British citizen fighting for Russia to die in the conflict.

Valerie says Nathan’s case is different, because he did not go to Russia intending to take part in the war.

"He never wanted to join the army," she says. "He was there to live with his family."

She understands that people may have strong views about Nathan fighting for Russia and stresses that she condemns the country’s "awful" invasion of Ukraine.

"I really don't care about changing people's opinions," she says. "What I care about is trying to find him."

Nathan Stobbart filmed a diary while serving on the front line in Ukraine

Nathan moved to Russia on Christmas Day 2024 to begin a new life with Ksenia.

They had met online and she had visited him and his family in the UK.

The couple married in Russia and were raising their son as a "normal, little family".

They were also bringing up Ksenia’s three children from a previous relationship, which meant moving the whole family to the UK was considered unaffordable, Valerie says.

She questioned Nathan’s original decision to move to Russia but came around to the idea because the couple lived "miles from any fighting".

They did discuss the conflict "but it was happening in Ukraine, it wasn't happening in Russia", she says.

"It had no effect on them at all."

Before Ksenia’s text message, Valerie had no reason to think anything was wrong. Receiving photos and videos of her newborn grandchild made everything seem "normal".

Nathan's family say he reluctantly joined the Russian army to be close to his newborn son

As the days and weeks passed after Nathan went missing, the scale of the situation became ever clearer.

The family learned he had recorded a farewell video at the beginning of his military service, which he sent to his wife to pass on to his mother if he died.

"I could only watch it once," Valerie says. "I had to turn it off."

Even with the video and his long silence, she believes her son is still alive.

The search for answers has been long and agonising for Valerie, who has contacted the government and several charities in both the UK and Russia.

"I contacted the Foreign Office and got a caseworker there, but they admitted themselves that they can't do anything," she says.

"Nobody tells you what to do."

The Foreign, Commonwealth and Development Office (FCDO) said it was aware of reports that a British national was missing after fighting for Russia in Ukraine and was "in contact with his family".

It said it advised against all travel to Russia and "our ability to provide consular support in these circumstances is severely limited".

Questions to Russia about Nathan’s last known location produced no useful information. "They just kept saying everything was classified," Valerie says. "They wouldn't even tell us where he was."

All of Valerie’s free time is spent searching the internet for clues.

"The days just roll on, the weeks roll on," she says, wiping away tears. "We're nine months down the line with no more answers than we had in the beginning."

But she still hopes he may be captured, but alive, and watches official body exchanges between Russia and Ukraine on Reuters. No reports have included Nathan’s name.

She remains hopeful that he will at least be identified, because the Russian authorities have his DNA from his baby.

Nathan moved to Russia to live with his girlfriend Ksenia, whom he has since married

Valerie’s search led her to a report in The Telegraph newspaper about a Ukrainian prisoner-of-war camp, but the journalist who wrote it could not remember seeing Nathan during the visit.

Although she did not agree to be interviewed, that contact had consequences.

She told her employer at the Home Office, where she worked as an asylum decision maker, that Nathan had disappeared in Russia and that she had sought help from the reporter.

She says she was immediately sent home from work and suspended, pending a disciplinary hearing, at which she was dismissed for gross misconduct because contacting the media breached her contract.

She explained that she had spoken to the journalist "purely to find information" and did not reveal where she worked, but she lost an appeal against the decision.

The Home Office told the BBC it does not comment on individual employment cases.

With "nothing to lose", Valerie contacted the journalist to tell her story of Nathan’s disappearance and of losing her job.

She hoped the article would be seen by someone who had been in touch with her son, but it drew little sympathy online from people who criticised his decision to fight for Russia.

"I did read some of the comments when the article went out but I stopped because they were just awful," she says.

Now, she lives in "limbo every day", unwilling to stop searching for her son, holding on to the hope that he will be found alive, but having exhausted every avenue for help.

"Every single day I think my phone could go and somebody somewhere is going to say 'we've found him'," she says.

"I have read reports of Russians that have turned up after a year of being in captivity, or whatever, and their families thought they were dead.

"So every day there is a new hope he could be found."